2018:
June 5: Shocking! After leaving us in suspense for years, Supper Cattle 2's official soundtrack has been unceremoniously cancelled. "But look forward to Sun-dried Cat Farm 3: Paws For Thought!", one band member is quoted as allegedly saying.
May 19: An official holiday card is released, declaring "May you wish upon a shiny gator today!". Nobody can figure out what the holiday is supposed to be.
April 10: The manager is finally released after the demands of fans are appeased. It turns out all they wanted was every cheese grater to be melted. A loophole in the clause allows normal consumption of cheese, however.
March 25: Inspirational! The backup vocalist of GBST makes up for the bad relations of years past between all gators and their closest counterpart. "I forgive the other green creature for upsetting me so much. I refer to, of course, broccoli."
February 9: Exhausted for being left out of the prior 50 news updates, the tertiary guitarist goes on strike, after eating her strings. Nobody noticed until she also ate the secondary guitarist's birthday cake!
January -31: To make up for their fooling around with systems both temporal and legal, every gator involved with GBST is cosmologically forced to experience January twice, starting in reverse.
2017:
December 32: Management tried to delay the new year, but the tax season has caught up to them. Could this be the final straw for GBST?!
November 21: A new drummer was hired two weeks ago, but on this day the rest of the band finally realizes that it's actually their first drummer again.
October 31: Disappointing! The band celebrates Halloween, but disaster strikes when somebody eats the plate of drum sticks.
September 4: Regret is expressed about recent and forthcoming history, but no further details are divulged.
August 10: In a heartfelt attempt to create at least a net positive influence on the world, peace has become the term for relations between the two primary "green things that live in water" of nature.
July 29: Fans take hold of Gator Bride Sound Team's manager after breaking into their headquarters, which it turned out was rented inside the maintenance room of a local bookstore.
June 22: Mail delivery stops, at least for GBST. Their administration box is now overflowing with complaints- or perhaps, adoration? It could be either as long as they are unread!
May 31: Pushing the limits of failing to fulfill the monthly newsletter, we now regret to inform you that it was not an April Fools stunt to have the drummer be replaced by a plate of drum sticks. It is permanent.
April 2: April Foolings! While they were on tour yesterday, did you notice in the promotional footage that the drummer was replaced with a plate of drum sticks?!
March 0: It becomes apparent that the lead guitarist of GBST is stuck in a time loop. In one alternate universe they make up every member of the band, there known as "Guitar Bribes Sizzling Teamwork". The secondary guitarist has expressed discomfort.
February 8: Further scandal ensues when a photograph of a cheese grater in the same room as two Gator Bride Sound Team members surfaces online.
January 21: Timewarp! The front singer of GBST ends up on the back page of a newspaper documenting the life span of their band. What happened to their popularity? The PR team refuses to answer the endless questions of fans.
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2016:
December 24: "Have a growly stomach this holiday season!" - postcard from the Sound Team
November 29: The frost starts to set in on the drummer's right leg.
October 8: With the 8's rolling in in the 8th month of the Gatorgorian calendar, the band plans their 8th reunion tour since breaking up 8 days ago.
September 12: Birthday for gators around the world. All of them, simultaneously. The crocodiles remain in hiding.
August 17: Off schedule much? The drummer continues hibernating, and apparently has done so since a little over a year ago.
July 10: Estimated time of Gator Bride Sound Team to wake up from their collective hibernation.
June 1: Taking a bend at photography, a rogue member of the Gator Bride Sound Team is found to have previously released something over the previous month.
May 6: The remnants of the PR team would like to congratulate DJ Ruffty & Qube on the release of their newest album, Even Greater Hits 2010-2016!
April 26: Historical! All previous months from July 2015 onwards spontaneously exist. A week ago, the six months prior hadn't yet happened.
March 4: Fear and panic starts to spread as it is realized that history has not been kept!
February 29: GBST's PR team has a month long internal fight over how to spell "Febuary".
January 1: Happy new year to all Gator Brides across the astral planes! Happy fear of revenge unto all crocodiles, in every nook and cranny!
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2015:
December 20: In the heart of the chill of this cruel winter, the entirety of Gator Bride Sound Team goes into hibernation.
November 18: Nothing happens this month.
October 31: Halloween celebrations are go! The trumpet player makes a jack-o-lantern shaped like an egg.
September 30: Huh! A note is found slid under our door, saying "the drummer is still asleep".
August 8: GBST's drummer still hasn't shown up for more than 30 days. The rest of the band convenes to discuss what to do next, and then realizes they never had a drummer in the first place.
July 7: Gator Bride Sound Team goes on their second annual tour! They only appear in their own apartment. Nobody shows up, not even the drummer.
June 6: Website refactoring begins. The number of pages has more than doubled, links appear everywhere now. Some of them don't disappear.
May 31: Sequel Time! Music Not From The Bride Of The Gator officially released worldwide!
April 55: The entire Gator Bride Sound Team crew works an incredible number of days this month on promoting themselves through an information pamphlet, as well as an extensive catalog featuring their music and music like theirs.
March 22: "Music Not From..." is heavily planned and co-ordinated from a distant location. It will feature much more than the first release did, even though it is significantly shorter in the music area. More like "Music Not At All!" says pre-release critic of band.
February 13: Ruminations of a "sequel" release begin appearing.
January 17: The entry for June 1st, 2016 is still incorrect. No songs were recorded on a cheese grater. Nobody in Gator Bride Sound Team even eats cheese.
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2014:
December 31: Defend Shengly Castle 2 first Anniversary. It still remains Game Of The Year, although to back it up on this definitive position are still the Album Of The Year (released as RUFF03) and Website Of The Year (this one, to be clear)!
November: A cold frost settles over the relations of the GBST crew. Nobody is sure how many members there really are.
October 31: Halloween Celebration First Anniversary Is Go! A gator bobs for too many apples at the party.
September 25: I forget what.
August 31: Every day of the month a guitar string is broken. By mistake at first.
July 7: Gator Bride Sound Team goes on tour, in every swamp on the planet. Only crocodiles attend. We will be selling the rocks they threw as merchandise.
June 1: A typo in the album release has been hastily corrected overnight by GBST's manager. It claimed that one of the songs was made using a cheese grater. That is incorrect. Two of the songs were made using a cheese grater.
May 31: Celebrate! Out rolls Music From The Bride Of The Gator, along with a large art book, and a enthralling art gallery + essay collection website. You're reading it!
April 1: The website is finished! Just kidding. This website is just starting production.
March 12: Preparations are complete as the 1000-track behemoth created for Supper Cattle 2: Bazaar of the Graveyard is sectioned off into LP sized pieces.
February 29: Insider sources are wow'd as they see the depth and breadth of art designer Art Design going to work on producing a booklet for the eventually upcoming Gator Bride Sound Team Official Soundtrack.
January 14: Ruminations of Gator Bride Sound Team re-uniting to collaborate on putting together an official soundtrack prove to be just rumors, but also true.
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2013:
December 31, 2013: Defend Shengly Castle 2: Bride Of The Gator (packaged along with lesser-known rarity, Defend Shengly Castle Part 1) is released, instantly becoming the greatest Game of the Year!
